The Mind of a Stranger
by papermoon99
Summary: Armin's younger sister Sophie experienced Shiganshina with him. She saw the destruction of her life, and so she joins the military. But evem though she finds a new family, her future is dark as the Titans approach. Follow her story as she tries to find her way in this cruel but beautiful world.
1. The Mind of A Stranger

Chapter 1

"Sophie!"  
The girl vanished in the masses that were desperately trying to reach the gate. The gate out of Shiganshina, the only hope for the people of this town - well, at least for the ones still alive. Armin turned around and tried to reach out for his sister, but she was already gone.  
"Go on, boy!" a man screamed, "or we are all going to die!"  
And with these words Armin was swept away by the masses.

My eyes widened. I had tried to reach Eren and Mikasa's home, hoping they were there, alive. But as I turned around the corner, it was gone. A ruin of stones, wood and broken household goods were at the space of the house, with a piece of the wall on it. It looked almost like a strange gravestone… I felt a hysterical laugh creeping up my throat, but held it back and looked up to the evening sky. It was dawn, and the sky looked like flames, orange and yellow flames. But it was mixed with red, as if the clouds wanted to cover up the blood that was shed beneath them. This was hell, and I was right in the middle of it. But why? Why did this happen? What did the people do to deserve this?

Then my eyes fell on the house again.  
"Carla." I whispered the name of Eren's mother. She was trapped under the roof of the destroyed house, seemingly unconscious. Or was she already dead? I almost hoped she was. It would be better. I didn't hold a grudge against the kind-hearted woman, no, quite the opposite. If she was dead already, she wouldn't see the Titans. Their faces, the grin before they devoured the people they caught. She wouldn't have to feel the hands grab her and see her death. She would have died in peace.

"MUM!" I flinched. I saw Eren and Mikasa, running around the corner. Relief flew through me. They were alive! They had made it! But then i realised where I was. "Mikasa, grab this side! We're gonna have to lift it!" Eren's voice was pure despair. They tried to lift the roof. Fruitless effort. Then we all heard it. Loud rumbling sounds, as if a thunder storm was approaching. I looked up to the sky, confused. Then it struck me: These were not thunder and lightning, these were footsteps. The titans were really inside!

"Eren! Take Mikasa and run! Even if you get me out of here, I couldn't go with you! My legs have been crushed!" "No I'm not gonna let you die!", Eren screamed. "Just do what I tell you for once in your live Eren! Go, Live!" Suddenly Hannes landed next to Eren. "Don't worry, Carla, I'll get all three of you outa here. After all, I'm a soldier, that's my job." He grinned at her and run towards the titan that was approaching the Jaeger's house. Then he stopped. He stared at the Titan in front of him. A smooth curtain of blond hair was draped around his face, and it seemed to be grinning. Hannes snapped out of his immovability, but instead of attacking the Titan, he turned around and grabbed Eren and Mikasa. "Eren! Mikasa! I love you! Live!" Carla's words were desperate.

Suddenly my breath was cut off and I was lifted into the air. A Titan? No, a soldier had grabbed me and flew through the air. "Don't worry, we're gonna get you out of here. I'll take you to the boats. From there you will go inside the walls and maybe even inside Rose. Don't worry, we'll all get out of here." I almost didn't hear him. I was still staring back at the jaeger's house. The Titan had lifted the roof and grabbed Carla. She struggled, but he grabbed her head and broke her neck. Then he opened his mouth and put Carla into it. When the jaws of the monster closed, I closed my eyes. All around us was screaming. But I kept my eyes closed, knowing that if I opened my eyes, I wouldn't be able to keep still. I heard enough; The screaming, the crying, the footsteps, the sound of a Titans closing mouth, followed by the sudden stop of a scream. Or worse, I heard the agony even more. That must be people that had their legs bitten off or other things, that weren't dying immediately but experienced the worst pain I could imagine.

Even though my eyes were closed, images flashed into my mind, as if my own mind wanted me to see everything. Then the soldier carrying me suddenly stopped. I opened my eyes. We had almost reached the boats. But I was facing the other direction. I saw Shiganshina, home in crumbles, invaded by these mindless monsters. A wave of anger hit me, and I wanted to kill. To stop this and to be free from this. But I was weak. Unable to do anything. It was like this. The walls that were surrounding us suddenly didn't seem like security anymore. They were a prison. A fence. The walls were a pit and humanity was cattle.

The man swung into the air again. When we landed again it was at the boat. "Go!", the soldier said, and lightly pushed me forward. I turned around and clung to him. "Don't go! If you go you could die!" The soldier smiled. "Maybe. But I saved your life, so I hope you will return the favour one day. Now concentrate on staying alive." He turned around and started to walk away,and I felt tears in my eyes. Then I took a step forward and called out to him again: "What's your name?" He turned around. "Samuel Linke-Jackson."

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "You're alive." My brother's voice was hoarse and almost breaking. "Come." He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards grandfather, who was sitting at the wall of the cabin, staring at the ground. Without a word he pulled the two of us down with him and slung an arm around each. His eyes were hidden in the shadows of his hat, but we saw a tear falling onto his legs. I nuzzled into the embrace and breathed in the familiar scent. Suddenly Armin jumped up. "There they are! They made it." Suddenly worry and fear shadowed Armin's face. "Eren…" It was almost like a question. Eren's and Mikasa's faces were empty. "Give them some space", grandfather said. "God knows what they just saw."  
"I know." I said. "I saw it too." Instead of an answer, grandfather tightened his embrace around me.

When we left, he covered my ears, but I heard the people anyway. Those poor souls who hadn't been lucky enough to get a place on the boat. They tried to jump onto it, but they were pushed off or fell off. I heard a lot of people sighing when we passed the gate to the inside. We would be save! A weak smile passed my face. Then the wall seemed to explode. I gasped. A Titan had broken through. They were inside. I covered my face in my hands and felt Armin's hand on my shoulder, when Eren jumped up and walked to the rail. "I will wipe them out. I'll erase them from this world. I will kill them. Every fucking one of them." Tears ran over his cheeks, but his voice was filled with determination. _I will help you._


	2. Military Training

Chapter 2

AFTER WALL MARIA HAD BEEN BREACHED, HUMANITY LOST 20 PERCENT OF ITS POPULATION. THE MASSES OF REFUGEES THAT SWEPT INTO THE INTERIOR COULD IMPOSSIBLY BE FED. SO THE GOVERNMENT TRIED TO CULTIVATE MORE LAND, TO HAVE MORE CROPS. BUT THE HARD COLD GROUND WOULD GIVE NOTHING BACK. AS THE HUNGER AND DESPAIR INCREASED, EVERY MAN ABLE TO HOLD A WEAPON WAS THEN ORDERED TO TAKE PART IN A MISSION TO RETAKE THE LAND THAT HAD BEEN STOLEN BY THE TITANS. OF THESE PEOPLE, ONLY 200 RETURNED. HOWEVER, THE LOSS OF THESE PEOPLE REDUCED THE FAMINE INSIDE THE WALLS. AT THE AGE OF 12, IT WAS POSSIBLE TO JOIN THE CADETS; OTHERWISE IT WOULD BE WORK ON THE FIELDS.  
EREN, MIKASA, ARMIN AND SOPHIE HAD STAYED TOGETHER AFTER THE FALL OF MARIA. NOW IT WAS TIME FOR THEM TO GET THEIR REVENGE. THEY JOINED THE CADETS.

"Listen, pigs! These are the cadets and the next three years will be hell for you. Let me introduce myself. I am Shadis, and you will grow to hate me. I know that, and if you do I will know that I did good work. But let me tell you: You will wish you didn't come here!"

With these words, Shadis started going through the lines. He spoke to some of them, some he just passed. I heard two soldiers whispering behind me.  
"Why does he just go past some?"  
"I think those are the ones who were there, 2 years ago. They have seen it. You can see it in their eyes."  
Shadis stopped in front of Armin. "What is your name, Cadet?" he shouted.  
"Armin Arlert, Sir!"  
"And where are you from?"  
"Shiganshina, Sir." I heard some gasps and muffled whispers around me. Shadis just walked to the next.  
"What is your name, cadet?"  
"J-Jean Kirschstein, Sir."  
Shadis voice went down to a whisper. "And why are you here cadet?"  
"T-To join the military police, Sir!" Jean smiled.  
Shadis smiled, but it looked dangerous. "You want to live save in the interior, don't you?" He smashed Jeans head on the ground. "With that goal you won't get too far, Kirschstein."  
At Jean's words I had snorted a bit, thinking no one would hear me, but apparently Shadis did.  
"And who are you?"  
"Sophie Arlert, Sir!"  
"And where are you from?"  
"Shiganshina, sir!"  
"And why did you join?" He brought his face close to mine, awaiting an answer. But I just looked at him. He knew where I came from so he knew what I saw. And why I joined. I didn't need to answer. "I see." He said after a while and went on.

[Timeskip] In the mess hall

"Yes, I saw the big guy", Eren said. He was surrounded by cadets that wanted to hear about Shiganshina.  
"How big was he?"  
"He stuck his head over the wall" Murmuring was heard.  
"In my village they said he stepped over the wall!"  
"That's what they said in my village too!"  
"Naww", Eren said. "He was big, but not that big."  
"And the Titans? What are they like?" Eren dropped his spoon and pressed a hand in front of his mouth. I froze and started to shake slightly. The boy on the table next to mine looked at me worriedly when he noticed it. Then Eren continued speaking.  
"Seriously, they're not such a big deal." I knew he was lying, but I couldn't take it anymore, so I got up with a scoff and left. I walked to the door and sat down on the rail of the porch, looking up at the stars. Then I heard steps behind me.  
"Are you okay?"  
I turned around. It was the boy that had looked at me in the mess hall before I left. He was tall, had black hair and soft facial features. But he didn't seem weak.  
"I'm fine." I smiled at him. "But thanks for asking. I was just thinking. Eren is… I don't know. He just… Aaawwww!" I tuned around again. "I'm sorry, I'm sure you just wanted to be nice and not be my psychiatrist."  
He chuckled. "I don't mind. But what do you mean with 'Eren is aaawwww'? Do you know him?"  
I nodded. "We grew up together. I know that what he said about the Titans is not true. They are a big deal. Maybe not all of them but some definitely are. Like these Aberrants that act unpredictable. And of course the Colossal and Armoured Titan. They broke through both walls and no one has ever heard of them. And a titan of the size of the Colossal would have been visible long before he reached the wall. So where did he come from? Why did no one see him? And there is another thing that doesn't make sense…"  
I heard the other boy walking up to me whilst I was speaking. He leaned against the rail and looked at me. On my last words he his expression changed from pensive to curious and worried.  
"What?" He asked.  
"Well, the last hundred years the Titans approached the walls everywhere and tried to get through, but they never did. They tried it everywhere, and when they went to the gate, then usually because it was opening or the survey corps passed it. But these two… they attacked the weakest points in the wall: The gates. The Colossal kicked right through it and the Armoured ran through the inner gate. I saw him; it was exactly the point where it was weakest. That could suggest they have some form of intelligence."  
The boy looked at me, fear on his face. "That would be bad. If the Titans develop a conscious- and sub-consciousness, we will not be able to kill them that easily anymore. I mean, it's not easy, but they don't understand what we are doing. So it is easier for us. But intelligent Titans could be our end!"  
I looked at him. "I know. Maybe it was just a coincidence and lucky guess. I mean, maybe the Titans had gathered at the gate again and the Colossal just went where most of them were. And the inner gate was defended by the garrison, so maybe he attacked the people there. There were a lot of refugees and soldiers after all."  
"I hope it really was just a lucky guess." The boy looked at me again. "Do you know which corps you are going to join?"  
I thought about his words. "I thinking about the Survey Corps."  
He looked at me in shock. "Don't tell me all you ever want to do is kill the Titans and die?!"  
"No" I shook my head. "Have you ever heard of Hanji Zoe?"  
He negated quietly.  
I explained: "She is a member of the survey Corps. I heard a lot about her, mainly saying she was insane. But I also heard she tries to capture Titans alive to study them. She tries to communicate with them. And she tries to find out as much as possible about their physiology. She even developed methods to capture them without having any casualties! I want to work with her. If I can find out more about the titans, we might be able to solve the mystery about the Colossal and the Armoured Titan."  
"But… you know you will also be a member of the expeditions? About 30-40% never returns and many are injured. Do you want that."  
"I know. And I'm genuinely not sure if I'll be able to really do that. But if I want to do something, this is the only way for me!"  
"There is always another way."  
I looked at the boy in surprise. "What do you mean?"  
He sighed. "You are Armin's sister, right?" I nodded. "Then why do you do this? You have seen Shiganshina; you have seen what they can do! You have experienced how horrible they are. No one would blame you if you went into the interior. Why throw your life away?"  
"I don't know." He looked at me flabbergasted. "What?" "I don't know. I could say something like: To avenge the dead and bring peace! But I don't. I am scared. I am almost as scared as I was 2 years ago. But I just don't know what to do otherwise. Imagining that I sit in the interior, whilst my friends die and everything may fall apart around me is nothing I could bear. I think this is the only thing I can do. And if I die, then I die. It's not that I can change it. I felt like something inside me died when Shiganshina was… But I rather die young with hope, than old and having lost everything."  
I looked at me, silently, and then nodded. "I guess there are worse reasons people would sacrifice their life for. And you have a point. I still think it is stupid, but I won't try to change your mind."  
I smiled. "Thank you." Then I realised something. "I don't even know your name! I've been talking all the time and didn't even ask you. I'm sorry!"  
He smiled, a dimple appearing in the corner of his mouth. "It's fine. I'm Berthold Fubar, nice to meet you."  
"Same here."  
We heard the gong. "Well, I guess we should get going. We need rest, tomorrow's gonna be hard.", he said.  
I saw the others coming out of the mess hall. "Good night." I smiled at Berthold and walked up to the other girls.  
I heard his voice behind me: "See ya tomorrow."  
I smiled.


	3. 3DMG

Chapter 3

Berthold had been right. Training was horrible, but it was good too. To become a full-fledged Cadet we had to pass a test on the 3DMG to prove that we can handle it. Everyone was lifted up and had to maintain his or her balance. Mikasa didn't show any problems with it. It took me a bit but then I figured out how to do it. I smiled and Armin smirked back at me. Berthold stood behind him. He had an appreciative look on his face and nodded when I looked at him.  
The real problem was Eren. He seemed to be completely unable to maintain his balance. They lifted him up and he fell over again. It was pitiful. When the training ended, Shadis stated that if he was unable to maintain his balance by tomorrow, he would be sent to the fields. He begged us for help. Armin and Mikasa tried but he ended up falling over again. As noon turned into afternoon and the shadows became longer, Armin and Mikasa had to go- they were on cleaning duty.

Everyone took that task very serious. When Shadis announced the people, a boy I didn't know asked why we had to do this. "We are soldiers after all." Shadis turned around slowly. "Soldiers, hmmm? Well son, let me tell you something. Have you ever heard of Lance Corporal Levi Ackermann?" The boy gulped and nodded. "What do they call him?", Shadis asked him. "Hu-Humanities strongest soldier, S-Sir", and he gulped again. "Then let me tell you: Humanities strongest soldier never holds back. Not even when he is cleaning. And he will kill everyone under his command that will not do so. And if he doesn't kill you, I will. So get your soldier ass moving! NOW!"

"Please, Sophie, you have to help me! I need to stay in the corps", Eren begged. "You know I can't leave! You have seen it…" He looked into my eyes. I sighed and nodded. "Alright, let's try it." I attached my belt to the structure and told Eren to lift me up. When I hung there, I tried to explain. "Okay, the most important things are your back and your legs. If you don't tense the muscles in your back, you won't be able to hold yourself upright. Then your legs: Hold them a bit bent, as if your about to land from a jump. If you straighten them, your body will lose its balance. Put one of your arms in front and the other behind the metal rope. So you can equal your weight. Also turn your hips a bit. Don't use your waist. And look in front of you. If you look down, you will fall over." I showed him everything and then let him try. And he fell over. I tried to catch him, but then he seemed to regain his balance. I stepped in front of him, but that was a mistake. He fell over again and we landed on the floor. His head was laying on my boobs. We snickered.  
"Well, at least this time I landed softer", Eren stated.  
"Thanks Eren", I said, but I lifted my eyebrows. "Now if you would be so friendly and get off me…" Eren realised what exactly he was lying on and jumped up, blushing. But he forgot that he was still in his 3DMG. So he ended up falling over again, this time the other way round.  
"Oh Eren, I'm just glad your skull is so thick.", I said, shaking my head. He groaned.  
I heard someone chuckle and turned around. Berthold and Reiner, his blonde friend apparently had been watching us. Berthold smiled at me. Reiner continued laughing. "I think you should take a break, Jaeger", he said.

We were sitting on one of the bunk beds in the boy's dorm. It wasn't bedtime yet, so we were allowed in the other gender's barracks. After we had treated Eren's slightly damaged head, Armin, Eren, Berthold, Reiner and I sat down on the boys beds.  
"Please, you guys! I heard you're really good! Please help me!"  
Eren was begging again. However, Reiner and Berthold seemed unwilling.  
"Why do you want to be here anyway? You're from Shiganshina, and you still want to fight the Titans?" Reiner asked Eren.  
Eren looked at him. "I will kill them all. But to be able to do that, I need to pass the test."  
Armin interfered: "I heard you guys have seen them too. So why are you here?"  
Berthold looked at him, then back at his hands. "Reiner and I come from a small village in the mountains. We didn't know that the wall was breached. It took us by surprise. They came in the dawn. I heard noises and when I looked out my window, I saw them."  
"They destroyed our village. We could escape.", Reiner added. "We fight so we can get our home back that the Titans took from us. We will go back!"  
Berthold smiled at his words, and then looked at me. I felt a soft smile on my face.  
"Okay. We will help you", Reiner suddenly said. "But if they catch us, we will have to leave the corps. Are you aware of that?"  
"I am", Eren stated, but I just raised an eyebrow. Berthold's smile widened.

We left one hour after bedtime. Equipped with our 3DMG and some water, we snuck out into the night and walked through the forest for a while. Then it suddenly ended in a cliff. It was a beautiful view on a lake, the moonlight on it and stars glistening. I thought of the books about the outside world that we had seen at home. It was so beautiful! How would it be to be able to see the world? No cage, no Titans, no restriction about where to go. I could see the sea! The mountains so high that you can't see their tops! I looked up to the sky and my hood slid down. A soft breeze caught my hair and it seemed to flow around me.  
"What are you thinking about?" Armin stood beside me and looked at the lake.  
"The outside world", I replied. He smiled.  
"Yeah, me too. Grandfather's books…"  
"Hey you guys, stop daydreaming!" Eren's voice brought us back. I raised an eyebrow and looked at the sky. "Daydreaming?", I asked. He rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean!"  
The others smiled at our banter.  
We started training.

"Jaeger, are you ready for the test?" Shadis asked. Eren nodded. "Okay, lift him up!"  
Eren started to move upwards, but he remained his balance. But then suddenly he started shaking and fell over. We gasped. But Shadis remained silent. Then he asked one of the soldiers to exchange belts with Eren. I looked questioningly at Berthold. He shrugged.  
"Jaeger, you had defective gear. I'm going to crack some skulls for that. You pass!"  
Armin smiled widely. "Look at him. His eyes are saying: 'Check me out!'"  
"They are not", Mikasa said. We all looked at her and she continued. "They say that he won't have to leave me."  
Berthold looked at me. "She's a tad overprotective, ain't she?" I nodded. "But considering her past, it's not surprising. Eren saved her life and he is the only family she has left." He hummed in agreement, but then stopped. "What about you and Armin?"  
"Our parents went outside the walls and never came back. We grew up with our grandfather, he took care of us. He was one of the men who were sent to re-capture Wall Maria. Armin and I are almost the same age, so we could join the corps together."  
"What do you mean, almost the same age? I thought you were twins?" Berthold sounded confused.  
" I am 11 months younger than him. But I turned 12 just right in time. "  
"You were lucky."  
"I guess."  
Whilst we were talking, everyone went back to the barracks. One day closer to our graduation.


	4. Graduation

Chapter 4

The next 3 years were flying by. The days became a routine of training as well as strategic lessons. We learned everything about titans and 3DMG, we had survival training, and we learned riding a horse. The training with the 3DMG was my favourite. This feeling of freedom when flying through the air; I felt unstoppable. If only I had known how quickly this feeling would change into helplessness and fear. We became a family and everyone cared for each other. Well almost everyone. Jean and Eren were always arguing and Annie was talking to hardly anyone. But we helped each other.  
We were distributed in squads of three. Our Shiganshina- team was split up. We were all in different teams. I was with Berthold and Marco Bodt, a boy with black hair and freckles. We trusted our squad members. I thought we could accomplish anything together.

The final ceremony was there quickly. I scored tenth in class, but I was surprised I made it this high. We stood in line, the best of our class. Mikasa, Reiner, Berthold, Annie, Eren, Jean, Marco, Sasha, Connie and I. We could become members of the military police. But my decision wasn't made yet. Even though I still wanted to join the scouts, I had been thinking about the Garrison too. Back in the mess hall everyone was chatting.  
"In two days, I'll be outa here and say hello to the MP's!", Jean exclaimed. "And what about you, Marco?"  
"Me too I guess." Marco said shyly. Berthold agreed. When I walked past their table, Marco stopped me in my tracks. "What about you, Sophie? Which corps are you going to join?"  
"Still the Scouts?", Berthold asked, smiling, but he sounded worried. I wanted to nod, but then I stopped.  
"I'm not so sure anymore", I said. "Got cold feet? Naaa, only suicidal people would join the Scouts anyway…" Jean claimed, but I interrupted him.  
"That's not why! I still want to join them but I'm not sure anymore. I was thinking about the garrison." They all looked at me in wonder. "Why would you join them?", Jean inquired. "Everyone who isn't crazy goes there, and all the ones who couldn't do good enough. They're weak and useless."  
"I know. But, you know, back in Shiganshina we knew this soldier, Hannes. He was a good guy, we liked him, but he thought the Titans would never come in. So he didn't take his job serious. He was drinking and gambeling all day long. And when the walls fell he was…. Kinda helpless. There was.. this woman trapped under a house and her children trying to get her out. He said he would save all of them by killing the Titan. But when he stood in front of that monster he was unable to move. He turned around, grabbed the children and fled. He was too scared to do anything and so were most soldiers of the garrison. I wonder how many of them were even sober…." The others looked at me in shock. They had known that I was from Shiganshina, but I guess they couldn't picture what had happened there. Except for Reiner and Berthold: They had seen the horror first hand.  
"But… If you… When you saw… THAT…", Marco tried to find words." Why would you join them?"  
"Because I don't want the garrison to be useless! If the Scouts are not around they are all that protects the civilians from the Titans. And if they are useless we may as well give up! I want to change them. I just doubt I can…" My voice was losing its force towards the end.  
"Well, at least you have a good reason to joint them. You guys, just admit it: You're joining the MP's to live a save life in the interior!"  
"You are all cowards." Eren's voice cut through Jean's words like a knife. "You don't even dare to fight them. But how can we ever get back our freedom if we don't fight them. You live in your little bubble, too scared to see the real world. Well, I am not scared, and I'm going to join the scouts."  
"You Little!" Jean sounded angry. He walked up to Eren, who just said: "Bring it on!"  
Marco jumped up to restrain Jean, whilst Mikasa lifted Eren on here shoulder and took off.  
"Mikasa!? Put me down, I mean it! Hey, do you hear me?! I said, put me down!" Eren's voice became weaker as Mikasa went outside. I looked at my brother and we followed them.

"If you're going to join the scouts, then so will I.", Mikasa said.  
"What? Mikasa, you don't have…."  
"I promised your mother, and were you go, I will too. And that's the end of it." Eren pouted a bit.  
"And so will I", Armin said. We all looked at him. "I know I'm weak, but I promise I won't pull down the team. And I want to do something!"  
"Alright then, we'll stay together. I mean.." he trailed off when he looked at me.  
"I'm not sure…" I said. "And that's fine!" I looked at Eren in surprise. "What? Did you think I would call you a coward if you didn't join the Scouts? You want to change something! I know you're not afraid! And so we have backup from the garrison too." He grinned. I smiled a little.  
"But I don't want to lose you guys. Never knowing where you are or if you come back… I couldn't stand that!" I looked down. "And I'm afraid too…" Suddenly a hand landed on my back and started drawing soft circles on it. My brother always knew how to calm me. "So am I!", he said. "And so is everyone! Not even Eren here can deny it. But you have to fight your fear! There are three ways: To give up, give in or give it your all. Fear is not your enemy, because without it we would be reckless. It just helps us find our weaknesses!" So take your time and do what YOU think is right. Don't let anyone decide for you, except for your heart."

But up to the day we would decide we were sent to Trost for exercise. We were standing on the wall, cleaning the canons. We were prepared, this time the Titans wouldn't have such an easy time.  
We were chatting and laughing. Sasha had stolen meat from the quarters of the higher ranks and we all laughed about her antics. Eren and I stood and looked at Trost.  
"There is hope", I said. He nodded.

Suddenly a flash of lightning struck the ground. We turned around. And there he was. The Colossal Titan. He stared at us for a moment. We were immobile. Then he lifted his arm and brushed it over the wall, sending us flying.  
"He destroyed the canons!"  
We tried to hold ourselves on the wall, as we fell, 3DMG being a life saver.  
"O my god" I heard someone say. "It broke the gate."  
Connie started screaming. "They will come in! They will come in again!"  
Suddenly Eren Started shouting: "Come on! This is our chance! We can take him down! Come on! He is right there! The Target is the colossal Titan!"

I felt fear rushing through me. Taking on the Colossal? Did he lose his mind? Everyone looked at him as if he finally lost it. Then he turned around and looked into my eyes. He nodded. Images flashed through my mind: The Colossal in Shiganshina, the destroyed wall, Carla, the Armoured titan. All familiar images, but still they were a bit off. Or to be more precise, the perspective was off. But I had other things to worry about. I nodded towards Eren and then we flung simultaneously into the air. I felt the wind rushing through my hair and the freedom of the 3DMG training came back to me. But then we passed the brink of the wall and were face to face with the creature that haunted my nightmares. My mind froze and I was shocked. Eren and I landed and I knew I wouldn't be able to move with these eyes staring at me. I heard Eren growl: "Here we meet again."  
Then my body seemed to take over. We jumped off the wall and shot the hooks of our gear. Eren on the right, I one the left. The Colossal turned to face Eren, who started running up its arm. I had to get past the shoulder and as I flung through the air, I waited for the impact of a massive, skinless hand that would crush me mid-air. But there was no impact. And then Eren and I were flying towards the nape in the neck. I screamed, a scream that I had held back since Shiganshina. The despair of what had happened, all these deaths, the loss of our home, our hope, our future. Grandfather, Carla, all the others. Here and now I would get my revenge.  
But the moment we hit the nape, Smoke left the titan's body and blew us away. It was incredibly hot and I couldn't see. But I heard Eren's scream of anger next to me, so I shot the hooks forward and as they hit I followed them. I felt Eren beside me and heard him growl. We raised our swords, and then we had passed the smoke. I felt like I was falling. The wall was there, but the Titan was gone. And then I realised I really was falling. I shot the hooks up the wall and was relieved when I felt the abrupt stop, Eren next to me.  
"How is that possible?", I asked. "It was right here! Where did it go?" I heard the hysteria in my voice, but I couldn't care less. All the adrenaline that had rushed through me was gone and my emotions took over. I had to pay the toll for my actions and panic struck me when looked around. The Colossal was gone but now reality showed its ugly face: Hell was back and I already saw its devils approaching. I started shaking. No. They would come in again. It would be like Shiganshina. I heard a voice in my head saying: "You're stronger now!" But I laughed at it. The Titans were walking towards the breached gate and soon they would be pouring all over the town. And if the armoured Titan appeared, then it would be the end.  
"Sophie!" Eren's voice snapped me out of it. "We need to go and see the others. We need to prepare."  
I looked at him with tears flowing down my face. But he was staring at the Titans. I could feel his anger and rage.  
"Come!" With this he darted upwards and over the wall, aiming at headquarters. I followed him, tears clouding my vision.


	5. Repitition of a Nightmare

Chapter 5

"From the frying pan right into the fire! Well, cadets, seems like you're gonna have to prove yourself! Form squads as you did in training! We have three guards! The front, the middle guard and the rear guard! You will be middle guard! The defensive line has been wiped out, there is no more outer gate! So prepare yourself!"  
I remembered our squad training. I was with my squad members Berthold and Marco as well as Marie, Nina and Jonas. They were good fighters, not outstanding, but definitely good. Jonas was a bit bossy at times, Nina was quiet. I think she thought of herself as a burden. Marie wasn't much of a talker, but she was good at teamwork, what surprised me. I looked for them.  
' _The mission. Just think about the mission. Make a list: Find the others, make sure you have your gas filled up, go see the captain, get your orders, say goodbye to Armin, Eren and Mikasa. Just don't think. Don't panic. It'll be alright. This Is an opportunity to prove yourself. It's like training. And you are not weak anymore. You are strong now. Humanity has developed in those five years! We won't lose to the titans again! We will crush them, and once we did that, we gat wall Maria back. We will expand our territory. And we will erase the Titans from the earth. Then I can see all the things mum and dead went to see! We can all go! Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Sasha, Connie, Marco, Berthold, Krista, Ymir, Reiner, Annie, Jean, Thomas, Mina,…_  
My thoughts were racing as I left to find the others. I saw Marco talking to Jean. I waved and he lift his hand and smiled.  
"Have you seen the others?" I asked.  
"I think Berthold is over there", Marco said pointed at the gate that led to the outside wall of Headquarters. "The others should be here soon; we'll meet at the entrance to the refill hall, right?"

I ran towards the gate and felt a breeze. The light blinded me for a second, but I could see Berthold's figure at the rail, looking at the town. I walked up to him.  
"Hey! We need to meet up with the others and refill our gas! And we need to get the orders. I can't believe the front had been wi…" I stopped and gasped. My knees started shaking and my stomach felt like it was now resting in my feet. Lead seemed to fill my veins, my heart beat increased but I seemed to consist of ice. An un-natural cold surrounded me. Whilst I walked up to the rail and leaned against it, I had just looked at Berthold, but with my last words I had turned my gaze towards the city. I had thought I could take it, but I had been wrong. I fell to my knees and Berthold looked at me. I saw fear in his eyes, grief, concern, but also determination. Not fanatic like Eren, but a strong will. But I felt helplessness. My fear was not just directed at the Titans. They were a part of it, yes, but mainly it was the fear of falling into that abyss again, that I had just climbed out of. The grief, the helplessness, the anger and hatred, the chaos, cruelty, the loss. Everything I had felt after he fall of Wall Maria came back and I felt like I was drowning in memories. Memories I had tried to escape, even though I knew I wouldn't be able to forget them. Despair overcame me.  
Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. "It won't be a second Shiganshina. I promise."  
Berthold's words and his low, calm voice soothed me. It helped, even though it didn't wash away the feelings. But it was reassuring and I knew I could rely on my comrades. My Friends. My family. We would make it through here. And the Titans wouldn't get Rose too. I nodded. He held his hand out to me and pulled me up when I took it. His hand was warm, and mine vanished completely in it. The warmth brought me back to life. I was not alone. I looked up to him and smiled lightly. He smiled back. Suddenly I heard steps and we saw Marco walking towards us, the usual happy expression on his face.  
"Am I interrupting something?" He pointed at our hands, which were still intertwined. We let go and I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks. Then Marco's seriousness returned.  
"We need to go and refill out gas. The others are already there. We shouldn't wait."  
We nodded and followed him. The inner yard was again filled with cadets, forming groups, receiving orders and saying goodbye. I wondered how many of them I would never see again. Or at least not alive. I turned away and caught up with Marco's words  
"… just talked to one of the Captains and they said we will probably be one of the non-static groups. Meaning we will first be put in the rear and then move forwards, to support the middle and front. Also we are allowed to split up in case we see squads that lost too many. I just hope the three of us can stay together. I trust you guys the most." He turned around and gave us a sad smile. I felt my throat becoming tight and just nodded. I knew if I started crying now, I wouldn't be able to stop. And I needed to be strong! Or at least seem strong…  
We encountered Jonas, Marie and Nina at the entrance to the gas hall. We just nodded at them, no words necessary. When we filled the cylinders, I noticed that my hands were shaking. It was hard to put the flask on, but I tried. Jonas next to me just took it, put it on for me and then walked away. I looked after him. That was different to his usual behaviour. I quickly refilled my gas and followed the others outside. They were talking to the others. I walked up to them and when they heard my footsteps they turned around. No word was spoken when Krista hugged me. Sasha joined us and we just stood there for a few minutes.  
"Sophie" Armin's voice was right behind me and I turned around. "Stay alive"  
He didn't need to say anything else. I knew what he was thinking, what he wanted to say, but I just looked at him, my dark blue eyes meeting his lighter blue and I nodded. I felt something went on my cheek and realised it was a tear. My tear. Armin hugged me quickly and said: "I'll see you later!" Then he turned away and joined his squad. Then I heard Eren's voice. "He'll be fine. I mean this is what we trained for, guys! We will take the Titans out and seal the hole somehow. I know we can do it!" He looked at me. "We will all meet here later, when we finished our mission." He flung an arm around my shoulder and pressed me against him shortly. Then he left too. I hadn't seen Mikasa, and I didn't have time to look for her, so I just said myself that she will be fine. _As long as Eren is okay, she will be._ I ignored the voice in my head and concentrated on the words of the Captain in front of us. I couldn't remember his name, but his voice calmed me and it seemed familiar. Marco had been right, we had been assigned as one of the mobile squads.  
"Patrol in lines parallel to the rear wall and keep moving forward. You can distribute over a larger area, but always at least in pairs. And don't leave too much space between you! We lost good soldiers, because they tried to cover a too large area and couldn't help each other when they needed to. Also, only split up the squad if necessary. I hope it won't come to this, but if only 3 or less are left, join another squad. Don't try to take them on alone! Good luck for all of you. We'll get out of here." His last words touched something in me and suddenly I knew where I knew him from. It was the soldier who had saved me in Shiganshina!  
"I still have to repay my debt", I muttered quietly. The others looked at me as if I had lost it. But Samuel smiled.  
"Maybe you will get a chance. But stay alive, so my effort wasn't for nothing back then." He grinned and I smiled back. He had given me hope. I couldn't believe I would see him again after 5 years! Fate is a strange thing…  
"Okay you guys, get going!" The order of the Commander was heard on the yard and we left.  
"Good luck, everyone!", I yelled when we jumped onto the roofs of Trost. Our battle had begun.


	6. Fighting For Dead

Chapter 6

"I'll distract them and you two take them out! Let's go!"  
Marco's voice was clear, but shaking a bit. Was it the wind or fear? But I couldn't concentrate on this right now. I looked to Berthold and nodded.  
"Right!"  
Marco flung forwards and flew right through the gap between the two Titans that were strolling down the street. When they saw him, they stretched out their hands and something like a smile appeared on their faces. They turned towards him and approached the roof he had landed on. That was our sign: Berthold and I shot out hooks and the 3DMG pulled us forward. The Titans didn't see us coming and so we had no resistance when we struck their necks. Simultaneously we landed on the roof next do the decomposing corpses of the monsters. Marco looked at us and let out a sigh of relief.  
"That was right on time, guys. If you had been just a second or two slower…" He shuddered and I felt the strength leave my legs. I thought of all the corpses we had seen. People we knew. And we could be one of them soon. Berthold's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.  
"Don't worry what could have happened. We need to go on."  
The others agreed and we started up again.

The Commander had said that we were thrown from the frying pan right into the fire. But it didn't feel like fire. More like ice or a dark cold water surrounding you, pulling you into an abyss of despair and fear. I clung to the voices of my friends, and concentrated on everything I did. If I didn't, I wouldn't be able to move just one finger.  
Our patrol had started at the rear, but we were soon sent to the middle guard. I was wondering at first. Why was there hardly anyone? Trost was big, but still, there seemed so few people. But then we passed the first squad. They had been wiped out- Titans of the 3 and 4 metre class swarming their remains. They were only five, so we took them on. _Hit the nape of their neck. If you do that, you'll be fine. Just don't worry too much. Concentrate and move, like you did in training!_  
I killed the Titan. I had expected to feel something like pride or satisfaction, a feeling that would make me think I accomplished something. But instead there was emptiness; no feelings or emotions. Just rational thoughts. I stood next to the rotting corpse of my enemy and looked at the remains of my comrades. The upper halves of a body, too bloody too make out the features, an arm, a leg. Half of a corpse, bitten from shoulder to waist with its limbs arranged in somewhat strange angles. I wondered about it, and then I realised: The Titans that had killed it must have pulled it at the extremities too get a bite. But then I realised something. My voice was not much louder than a whisper, but the others heard it.  
"We need to get on the roof as quick as possible. Hurry!" The others looked at me confused, I saw the tears in Marie's eyes and Nina was shaking. Marco was paler than usual, his freckles so clear you could count them. Jonas eyes had been shadowed by his dark brown hair up to then, but now he looked at me angry.  
"Do you just want to leave them? They were your comrades! Not just some Titan's food! Are you that heartless?"  
His words hurt me and I cringed and screamed on the inside, but I remained my calm façade, copying Mikasa.  
"Look at this one!" I pointed at the one that had been pulled. "See the size of the bite marks? And a Titan has pulled on his limbs with a lot of strength! Do you think a 3 or 4 metre class could do that?" I stepped up to Jonas and looked into his face. "Think about it! This", I pointed at the corpses, "is not the work of these small Titans! These were bigger ones, about 8 to 10 metres! If they get us on the floor we will be helpless!" I turned to the others. "Do you really think I don't care?" I felt tears filling my eyes and rolling over my face. "They were my friends too! Do you think I wanted them to die? Or leave them here? But we can't do anything for them, so we might as well go and get revenge! We have to find these Titans and kill them. For what they have done to them, what they did to everyone… We have to… We…"  
I broke down. My knees hit the ground and I grabbed my temples, my finger nails digging into my scalp. All the images from Shiganshina, the screaming and death came back. I was still weak! I hadn't been able to help anyone, I couldn't even help myself. I stared at the remains.  
"She's right. We can't help them anymore, and we can as well try to find these monsters." Nina's voice was silent, shaking and filled with fear. But also there was determination. She walked up to me and gently pulled my hands from my head. "Let's get them."  
We flew through Trost again. I had calmed down, but tears were still flowing from my eyes, clouding my vision. I had to stop crying, it could be dangerous if I missed a Titan. We went off our original track, but it seemed all strategy had been blown to the wind anyway. Every single one was fighting for his life. I was glad we didn't encounter anymore battlefields- or rather graves. But at the same time we didn't meet any other squads. What was happening? We should Have met at least one, but they were nowhere to be seen.  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaa! No, no, nooooo!" A scream ripped through the air and startled me. I saw the others flinch too, even Berthold. This was something scarce, he was hardly ever surprised. He must be on edge too. I turned in the direction the scream had come from. About two streets away, two Titans were following a soldier on a roof. The two were 10 metre class and fast, and the soldier's 3DMG seemed to be defective. My eyes narrowed and I heard Marco gasp, when one of the Titans grabbed the soldier, holding his arm and leg. He pulled the humans limbs and held him over his opened mouth. We heard the scream, but all of us knew we would be too late. The sound of agony ended abruptly when the Titan bit down on the chest and abdomen, ripping half of the chest including the head of his victim off. Marie gasped and I heard a gagging sound.  
"He has a system in his way of killing?!" I heard the shock in Jonas's voice and I could only agree. "But how? That would mean…"  
"Yes." I agreed. "It must mean it possesses some form of intelligence. Or at least something similar to a lower form of consciousness! If this is possible… If they start to develop intelligence…" I looked down, my hair shadowing my face. "Then this might as well indicate that the end of humanity is closing in."  
"Then let's hope it's only an Aberrant. If it is only a single one, then we can take it down and hope there are no more around. Come on, don't lose hope now!" Marco sounded awfully optimistic. I turned around to shoot a glare at him, but when I saw his face, I couldn't. He was smiling, but he was still pale, and the smile on his face was shaky and insecure. So I just nodded.  
"If hope is all we have, then we can't lose it. And this will be our revenge!", I said. I looked at my squad and they all grabbed their swords harder.  
"Leave them to us. We can handle it." Berthold's voice was calm as always and reassuring. "Let's use the usual formation."  
"I'll distract them and you two take them out! Let's go!"  
Marco's voice was clear, but shaking a bit. Was it the wind or fear? But I couldn't concentrate on this right now. I looked to Berthold and nodded.


	7. Too Slow

Chapter 7

We continued our patrol and slowly moved towards the Vanguard. We took out two more 6 metre class Titans but that was about it. I knew our gas had to be refilled sooner or later, so we wouldn't be trapped on the roofs. If that happened… I didn't want to think about it. Think of the movements. Hook, a little gas, momentum, unhook, shoot, momentum, gas,… Like a dance, a dance I had trained for. But then I saw something in the corner of my eyes, the shadow of a street. It seemed to be moving, and it had eyes…  
"Titan!" I screamed. And the others reacted. But too late. A hand stretched out and hit Nina mid-air. I heard a sickening cracking sound and landed on the next roof. The girls limb body was in the fist of a 12m class, her eyes wide open but empty, horror still sealed on her face. Marie screamed and Jonas turned around and attacked the monster, Marie following him. That was when a second Titan came out of the street, jumping up and biting Jonas' arm off. He lost balance and collided with the wall, only to be caught by the titan. It moved him towards its mouth and closed its jaws. "NOOOOOOO!" My voice was almost shrieking and I snapped out of my shock. I used more gas to move quicker, and so did Berthold and Marco. Berthold hit the one that had killed Jonas, whilst Marco aimed for the one still holding Nina. But Marie was faster. Suddenly everything was slow and I saw all of it clear. Marie was fast, too fast and the Titan was standing at the wall. With the angle of her 3DMG right now and the speed she wouldn't be able to re-hook and collide with the wall! And the force of her impact would…  
Marco seemed to have thought the same thing: "Marie! Don't do it! Stop!" But she didn't listen. With a clean slash she killed the Titan in an instant and then the wall was there. She crashed against it. I was close and I heard her bones break, saw how her body was deformed to strange angles and she fell off it. I rushed after her, but I couldn't catch her in time. She was too far away for all of us.  
I landed next to her. "They are dead…" Her voice was a hoarse whisper, it almost didn't sound like a voice anymore. She coughed as the blood started to fill her lungs. One of her broken ribs had pierced through the skin and shone white in the light. It was strange, this white in all the red around it… I started crying again, and saw Berthold and Marco approach us quickly, kneeling down next to me and the dying Marie.  
"I will see them again." She smiled. "Yes you will. You will see…" I broke down, unable to continue. I felt Marco's hand on my shoulder, as I started sobbing. Maria breathed in and out heavily for a few times, then it was over. The last air inside her escaped with a soft his and her eyes became unfocused, staring somewhere wide away. But strangely enough she seemed so happy and tranquil at the same time, as if she really was in a better place now. Her nightmare had ended, whilst for us it would continue.  
"We… We have to go… meet up with the others. Remember, the Captain said to join another squad if we get down to 3 people. And we're not safe here either, the shadows are ideal for Titans to hide…" Berthold kept rambling, when we slowly got on our feet, but when he turned away, I could see a tear glisten in the sunlight. I had a last look on the others: Jonas' lower half, that no one but us could identify, Nina's limb body in the disintegrating hand of the 12m titan, the shock on her face not even lifted by death, and Marie, broken physically and mentally, but so ever so peaceful. It had only taken seconds to wipe out those life's, mere seconds to destroy whole worlds. They all had families and friends that would mourn them, question why they had to die, and what for. Mere seconds to wipe their existence from this world, not giving them the chance to be remembered the way they deserved it, to be remembered as heroes that gave their lives for humanity. But soon, no one would remember them anymore. I promised myself to carve their faces into my heart, Nina's laugh, Jonas' attitude, Marie's gentleness. I wouldn't forget them, but do my best to keep them alive in me. I wouldn't let them be forgotten. This silent vow I made, as I turned my gaze away from them, and back to the sky, its blue seemingly endless, dotted with some clouds and promising freedom. I flew into it, leaving the dark street behind me, looking forward, for all I could do now was trying to keep others from dying too.


	8. Mikas's Speech

Chapter 8

We met up with the others in the centre of Trost. At last we reached shelter. Well, if you could call it that… We were sitting on the high roofs of central Trost, almost out of gas, out of hope, devastated, exhausted and mourning. Many had buried their heads in their hands, unable to keep standing, horrible images replaying in their minds. I saw some familiar faces, but many were missing. Too many… Jean was there already, Annie and Reiner with him, Marco and Berthold with me, but I couldn't see Armin, Eren and Mikasa, neither Connie, Ymir nor Krista. And what about Sasha? When I heard the familiar rippling of the 3DMG behind me, I turned around: Sasha, with Mike and Laura. But the rest of her squad was missing as well. Or had they split up? I couldn't tell, their faces were so empty, no emotion in it. Her legs didn't hold her, when she landed and so she fell to her knees. I waited for her usual: "I need food!", but it never came. Taking a hesitant step towards her, I saw the always cheerful potato girl shake and visible horror in her eyes. What had happened to Sasha that she, of all people, became like this?  
"They probably saw the same as we did; Maybe even worse. I'm just glad they survived…" Marco's words seemed to come from far away, but they pulled me back into reality. With a few quick steps I had reached my scared friend, embracing her tightly. A gasp was audible and she stiffened for a second, until she relaxed and threw her arms around me, sobbing, her head resting on my shoulder.  
"They… They are… monsters…" She sounded unbelieving and I just held her, as I had nothing to reply, when a voice got our attention.  
"Guys? Are you okay?" Connie! I heard him land on the roof behind me, followed by several others. But I didn't dare to turn around, unable to face them or rather not to see the ones that should be there. Connie quickly approached our huddled figures, kneeling down beside us and putting a hand on Sasha's shoulder.  
"Sash?"  
"Thank god, you're okay…" Sasha had so much relief in her voice when she slowly lifted her head and locked eyes with Connie. He never broke their gaze, when he started talking to me:  
"You should look after Armin, we brought him with us. He was all alone and we didn't find the others. Maybe you can get something out of him." All feeling left my body, all I felt was how I blanched even more. Nodding and getting up, I stumbled a bit; a hand grabbed me and held me up. Berthold's face was looking down on me, a sad look in his eyes.  
"Maybe he just got separated from them. I mean, it's possible, right? That they had to split up? I mean, it could be…" Berthold opened his mouth, but closed it again. I knew he didn't want to destroy this weak string of hope I was clinging to, but I just couldn't let it go, I couldn't let this one feeling overwhelm me. And so I saw it in his eyes instead: Hopelessness.  
"If you really think that, you're more stupid than I thought , ya know. They're probably…"  
"That's enough!", Reiner almost shouted at Ymir, stopping her in her tracks. "Just leave her be."  
"O come one, you know what must've happened. Her bubble will burst soon enough!"  
"But Ymir! We can't lose hope just yet! We have to believe they're still alive!" Krista interfered, stepping between Reiner and Ymir, who were glaring at each other. I walked past them and felt Berthold's hand slip from my shoulder hesitantly.

My brother was sitting with his back against the wall, hugging his knees, eyes wide open but not seeing anything.  
"Armin?" I kneeled down before him and put my hand on his. "Are you hurt?"  
"I can't go on… It's too terrible… I can't… I couldn't… I just…" His words were almost inaudible, his voice not more than a hoarse whispers. Knowing him well enough I could see his feelings, but right now I wished I couldn't.  
Quick steps approached someone on the roof and then there was Mikasa's voice.  
"Annie! I'm sorry to bother you at a time like this, but I have to know where Eren is!"  
"I don't know that. But Armin is over there." Mikasa turned and walked towards us, I slowly rose to my feet.  
"Armin, Sophie, are you okay?"  
"I am", I replied. "Well, kinda…"  
"Thank god for that." Mikasa said as she looked at me and laid her hand on my shoulder. Then she crouched down before Armin.  
"Armin, I have to know where Eren is. If you know, tell me. Please!", she said with intensity but pleading. My brother didn't move for several moments, but gripped his knees harder, then slowly lifted his head. Tears were shimmering in his eyes, his face a mask of horror, fear and grief.  
"I'm sorry. They were… the Cadets of Squad 34 were… Thomas Wagner. Nic Tius. Mylius Zeramuski. Mina Carolina. Eren Yaeger. All five of them have fulfilled their duty and died heroic deaths in battle!" My whole body went numb.  
"So… his whole Squad was wiped out? Only he survived?" Whispers reached my ears, their voices in shock. Then Mikasa surprised me by standing up and pulling Armin and me with her. She turned around.  
"Marco! Am I correct that we just have to take out the Titans at HQ so we can refill our gas and make it out of here?"  
"Y-yes, that's right, but…"  
"Then we'll do it."  
"Mikasa, are you nuts? We can't take them! They're too many!"  
"I can take them out." The icy cold in her voice shocked me, but her words were even more frightening. There was something wrong about her…  
"I am strong,", she continued. "Stronger than all of you. Very strong. You can't compare to me, you are spineless cowards. I can and will kill them with or without you. I'm not afraid of dying. If I die then I die and that's the end of it. But at least I will go down fighting."  
With this, she turned around and jumped of the roof.  
"Dammit, you really have to work on your oratory skills!", I heard Jean mutter before he followed her.  
"Cowards! Idiots!" Sasha yelled insults at everyone before she did the same. I had to smile, it was so typical for her… I exchanged looks with my squad, and I knew that the fear I could see on Berthold's and Marco's faces was mirrored on my own. I ignored it, grabbed Armin's hand harder and pulled him with me as I started running towards the roof. He followed and I could see others moving. Seconds after we left our location to that point I heard loud battle cries behind me and the hissing sound of fired 3DMG. So we all had overcome our fear. I looked forward.


	9. You Promised Me To Live!

Chapter 9

We flew through the streets. Everything seemed to be through a curtain. I felt Berthold and Marco's worried looks on me. But I gazed at Mikasa: She seemed to have kept her calm at Eren's death, but I could see that she had lost it. She was using too much gas. Then she flung up, her head thrown back, her shins angled at her thighs and her arms stretched out slightly to the side. A ray of sunlight hit her and I could see that she had closed her eyes, her expression more peaceful than I had ever seen on her. She looked as if she was about to enter heaven… Then it struck me: She was ready to die; she had given up!  
"Mikasa!" I screamed, but she had started to lose altitude and fell into the street below, landing on a wagon without elegance, her gaze upwards. Slowly stretching her sword towards the sky, she seemed to relax.  
"We need to help her!" I heard Armin shout at the others, but Jean pointed at the 15 metre Titan approaching her. I turned to see it as we flew over the roof, our 3DMG pulling us forward.  
Suddenly something inside me clicked and I made a decision. I changed my angle and as the hooks went loose, I pulled them towards me and shot them the moment I turned around. I flew past the others towards the roof on the opposite side of the street and saw the surprise in the faces of the others, as I passed them.  
But Berthold and Marco had predicted my moves. The moment I had pulled my hooks in, they had looked at each other and nodded slightly. Marco copied my move, but went straight down the roof, not following me. Berthold had passed the others and followed Marco.  
I had planned to go to the other roof and then back in a zick-zack line. With this I could easily see any movements of the Titan and distract it from Mikasa, as it didn't seem to be an Aberrant. And my squad knew that. We had trained so much together, we almost read each other's thoughts. We knew how the others reacted and moved, and we trusted each other completely, making us one of the groups with the most harmony and sync. I had anticipated that one would follow me, whilst the other would try to cut off my path. So I was caught by surprise when I saw both of them on the other roof. I shot my 3DMG and jumped to get to the other roof, still following my plan. I HAD TO SAVE MIKASA! I couldn't lose any more of my family! But Marco stopped my hooks with his blades and sent them off track. I had to avoid hurting my comrades and pulled the trigger, making them fly back to me.  
'I'm falling again' I thought, and I felt panic rise inside me. 'No, not again! I don't have time to use my gear! But this can't be the end!' And then Berthold crashed into me. He had jumped two seconds before I had, and even though I had seen it in the corner of my eye, I didn't pay too much attention to it. And now he blocked me and stopped my fall. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and my neck as he pressed me against him. He lowered his head and as the hooks returned to their original position in the gear I felt his muscles tense, as we turned around in the air, like a pirouette.  
And then the impact came. We crashed into the roof I had just jumped off and I felt the tiles break underneath him. The air was pressed out of my lungs and a hiss from Berthold showed me he experienced the same. The force of our flight caused us to roll over the roof in our embrace, until we stopped and I felt my body being pinned down.  
"Are you crazy? It would've killed you!"  
His voice was breathless and he panted between the words. I opened my eyes (When had I closed them?) and saw Berthold's face right in front of me.  
"Can't…. breath… heavy", I gasped. He had his full weight on me and it was crushing. My eyes widened. So that's why he turned around before we hit the roof! If his weight had landed on me plus the impact, all of my bones would be broken by now.  
But he was weighing me down, literally. "Air…", I muttered. And he slightly lifted his body. That was what I had waited for. My arms were still free and the moment he moved, I hit the tips of my fingers into his right armpit and the point at his left waist, where I knew he was ticklish. His body moved on its own accord and he fell to his right. I jumped up and moved a step back. My body protested, but I couldn't care about that right now. I had gotten out of his range and so could avoid accidently hitting him with my gear. But I had underestimated my team mate's abilities. After all he was third in our year. When I stepped backwards, he jumped up and followed me in one fluent move. I tried to avoid him and step out of the way, but he was too fast. His long arms reached out and grabbed my wrists. In reflex I stepped further back and felt the stones of a chimney brush against my back. He slammed my hands against the wall over my head and the force of the impact caused me to open my grasp and drop my blades.  
I looked up and saw Mikasa on the street. Even though Berthold was standing in front of me, I could see past his arm. It had only been a few moments since we landed on the roof, but now Mikasa was leaning against the wall. My eyes widened and fear hit me like a wave when I saw the Titan's hand flying towards her. He missed Mikasa, but the exploding wall sent her flying.  
"Mikasa!" I screamed her name but she didn't react. The others stared at her with shock on their faces. I struggled and tried to wiggle my hands out of Berthold's grasp, but I could hardly move them and he was too strong.  
"You can't help her. She has given up. Don't tell me you did too!" He had started speaking in his normal voice, but now his tone became more angry and louder. "What good would it be if you go down there and die too? And even if you kill the Titan, you don't have enough gas left to get you back on the roof AND to headquarters! What would you do? Walk there? It's full of Titans! You would be dead within moments!" I looked at him and tears filled my eyes.  
"You told me you want to join the Survey Corps; that you want to do something to protect everyone! You said you didn't just live to kill Titans and die doing it. So Live!" He had screamed his last two utterances. The others on the roof stared at him, their eyes widened. Berthold never talked much, even when being with friends, and this was unusual for him.  
I realised he was right and stopped struggling. He noticed it and slowly released my hands. I realised he had leaned closer too as he was speaking. When he noticed it he took a step back and looked away, a light blush on his cheeks. Then he froze. I followed his gaze and gasped. Another 15 metre Titan had appeared. But he looked different: Toned abs, strong muscles on his arms and legs and slim. His face was shadowed by his messy brown hair, but his eyes were green and sharp. The line of his teeth was visible like the Colossal's, but he had skin. The second Titan stepped forward as well as the Titan attacking Mikasa. I noticed she had her sword back in her hands and was in fighting stance. Had she gotten her will back? Then second Titan suddenly strove forward and attacked the other Titan with a punch. A punch how we learned it. He was obviously trying to knock the other Titan out. But his strength made the other Titan's head rip of its body. As the corps fell over, the rouge Titan started stepping on its neck, on the nape, killing it. We all stood awe-struck. Then it threw its head back and screamed. But the way it screamed was so human like, and somewhat familiar…


End file.
